I think I’ve got a problem. It’s one of those Wife-meets-Man-Cave situations. But it’s not what you’d expect. I’d better explain.
A long time ago, in a neighborhood far, far away, I became a Star Wars fan.
I wasn’t one of those Original Jedi who saw it in the theater. I couldn’t have been. I wasn’t a year old yet when Return of the Jedi came out. But somewhere in the early 90’s I rented the Empire Strikes Back Super Nintendo game, and let’s just say Blockbuster saw me in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section a lot after that. I went nuts for it.
I was even one of the Generation Y-ers in 1999 who loved seeing Episode I, simply because I’d never experienced a Star Wars movie in theaters before. Yeah, it happened to a bunch of us. We were that hard up.
Shockingly, this side of myself was not a side that mixed very often with women. I guess in a tiny corner of my nerd brain, I assumed if it ever did, it would just be ideal to be with a fellow Star Wars nerd. Instead of ever abandoning my precious space opera, I hoped for a wife who was as much of a fan as I was.
Here’s my problem: my wish came true. I got what I wanted.
So, I guess I have a confession to make: My wife knows– (Hooo boy, okay, I can do this. I can say it out loud. It’s okay…) My wife, knows… more about the new Star Wars movie, Rogue One… than I do.
(Shame. Nothing but shame.)
It happened slowly, surreptitiously- a phantom menace creeping its way into my house. I mean…right? Robbie wasn’t a Star Wars fan before we were married… Was she? She was familiar with the movies of course (who isn’t?), but she never for a second thought the prequels were good. She wasn’t crazy about the Skywalker saga like some of us were…
Maybe J.J. Abrams is to blame. We experienced the new one together. We loved it. We talked about galactic histories and possibilities for Episodes VIII and IX. I’m pretty sure I was the one doing most of the explaining… I mean, she still pronounced Coruscant COOR-oos-CANT for crying out loud. No. There just weren’t any warning signs!
And then there was “Galaxy of Heroes.” It’s this play-for-free Star Wars game app that I stumbled upon last month. Played it every day. Well, little by little, I noticed she would scoot up next to me on the couch, and start asking questions. “How many fighters are you allowed to have?” and “Can droids heal allies like Jedi can?” and “How does Darth Sidious compare to Boba Fett?” I should have seen it coming. We’re clones. Now she’s got her own account and I rarely see her anymore. I just randomly hear “YEAH! WHO’S yo father NOW?!” from the other room.
Nowadays it’s her with the laptop handy, surfing to sites like StarWarsNewsNet and MakingStarWars, soaking up all the intel and informing ME of the goings-on of my beloved movie universe. We even watch Collider Jedi Council together, and she knows the current events stories before they come up. I’ve created a rancor.
So yeah. If you want to know anything about Rogue One, ask… my wife. She can tell you all about the main character, Jyn…Erso? I think? And how Forest Whitaker’s character knew Anakin Skywalker previously, and… the… blind Asian non-Jedi guy (I can’t remember his name, but I bet she can).
So, nerd fans, be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.
Oh well. When does Star Trek Beyond come out? At least I’m still this house’s leading expert on the Enterprise.
(Honey? Can you explain to me what in the world is going on in this new Star Trek movie?)